It’s strange how we are often attracted to those very things that will push our buttons, drive us crazy, make us mad or scared.
A few years ago, my workaholic lifestyle had finally worn thin and I wanted something to do for fun. So I decided to learn how to play Bridge. I wanted some juice, some laughs, some new friends. I continued my Ayurvedic clinic and was on various NAMA boards. But I wanted to add something fun, not serious. I remembered playing bridge with my parents in high school. I had not played since then and couldn’t remember how we played back then.
I took classes once a week for almost two years before I dared to play at the Santa Cruz Bridge Club. It was not easy to learn how to play competitive duplicate bridge. There is so much to remember! I had some luck, coming in fourth for .13 points occasionally. Now I am approaching 20 master points, after playing for around five years.
The thing is, when you play bridge you lose a lot. At a game with 24-32 people, maybe 6 maximum will get points (or percentages of points) and the rest will lose. Even the best players, those with over a thousand points, often lose. My teacher told us about being at a bridge tournament someplace in the Midwest with her husband and they played against Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife. My teacher was a very good bridge player. But she lost. Many times over the years, she told us, she had made mistakes and had lost.
I don’t like to lose. I had succeeded at most things I had tried my hand at and had a fear of failure. Why did I pick a game where I was bound to lose, a lot? My spiritual training seemed to go out the window when my partner would tell me I did something wrong. Or when I myself saw that I did something wrong. It was humiliating! I would feel angry at her or myself, feel like a failure, put myself down.
How we deal with failure is the key to spiritual bliss, I believe. Failing a lot at bridge gives one lots of opportunities to deal with anger, blame, shame, fear—all of the buttons!
Bridge can be the road to enlightenment! Some day I will feel the same whether I win or lose. I will see that all of life is a game and no matter what the outcome, we are always doing fine, we are doing the best we can. The game goes on whether we are playing it or not, winning or losing.
If you are interested in learning a simple practice to change deep-seated emotional patterns, let me know. I will be teaching a class soon on “Emotional Healing the Ayurvedic Way”. I have shared it with hundreds of clients and it is extremely helpful, almost magic. You can respond to this blog or via the website contact info.
