Last week I was looking at the three other Speaking Circle participants on Zoom, sitting at my desk and sipping hot water. My six minute turn to talk was coming up soon, and I knew the intent of Speaking Circles is to speak from the heart, without pre-planning, but I wanted desperately to come up with a topic. The unknown felt so uncomfortable. I could fail. They might be bored or not like me. My breathing was fast and shallow.

My mind wanted to create security, something known. A topic. Something I knew and could feel enthusiastic about.

I looked down at my laptop keyboard and saw my Post-It with a reminder: There is no LATER. There is only NOW.

I decided to risk all and just open my mouth and see what wanted to come out. There is only now.

The first thing that came out of my mouth was what had happened that morning. Nothing very important.  As I spoke, looking the participants in the eyes, one after the other, they looked back at me, and I felt like I was good enough. I was good enough because the words were coming from me. The words were coming from authentic, vulnerable me. And they were listening. Speaker and listener felt like one entity and in that union there was safety and comfort and it didn’t matter what the outcome was. It was my turn to talk and I was talking and they were listening and that was all that mattered. There was no anxiety.

Later when I looked at the recording I was surprised I didn’t look as I expected to look. I didn’t see tight shoulders, hair not perfect, Bell’s Palsy forefront. My self-criticisms were absent. Instead, I looked relaxed, present.

There is no LATER, there is only NOW is the truth. That day, remembering it helped me to be present, and I saw that when I am (and we are) present, the past and future go away and all is well. All is fine, just as it is. We are fine, just as we are. We don’t need to be attached to any outcome. We are fine whatever the outcome. We can only do our best. And that is always good enough. Fear of failure can only exist in the past and future, which are mental constructs, not in the present, which is the only real place.

If you have speaking anxiety or stage fright or just want to feel and look more natural on stage or when speaking to a group, I highly recommend Lee Glickstein’s Speaking Circles. www.speakingcirclesinternational.com

Tell him Cynthia sent you!

 

PS: Ayurveda says speaking up, speaking who you are, improves your health! It increases your Agni, improves heart circulation, moods, digestion. Suppression of your voice suppresses your innate power.