Ayurvedic healing

During the holidays some people find themselves more emotional than usual, feeling sad because parents died or spouse moved on, or they are alone, children a disappointment or a hassle, friends or co-workers are pushing their buttons during holiday get-togethers.

My family of origin fell apart after my mother died. She was the matriarch and held onto her role of control to her dying breath. She had seven children (I am the oldest) who lived to please her and tried to live up to her expectations. Needless to say, that caused a lot of stress growing up, feeling not good enough, not getting the attention we wanted.

I am finding that most of the beliefs I held about my family were from my narrow point of view and could be interpreted in a variety of different ways. For example, as victim, as being right, as being abandoned, etc. I am learning to withhold judgement, to validate the other’s point of view.

Most of us meet very few real dangers in our daily life. Yet we constantly trigger our fight/flight stress response. Life seems to be a battle for survival (of our psyche or ego) Anger and Fear alternate in our experiences. Holiday sadness can be seen as anger driven inward.

My wish for 2023 is that we shift our narrow perspectives and take back our power by seeing reality as it is, without judgement.

Recently I suffered from intense anger and anxiety (and a stomach ache!) during an online bridge game. (Yes, I am that competitive!)

Here are FOUR STEPS I used to disappear intense anger and anxiety (and a stomach ache!) I want to share with you:

1—Notice how you are feeling, in your emotions, in your body.

2—Notice your thoughts.

3—Notice if they are supporting you or punishing/tormenting you.

4—If they are not wanted, just STOP! Tell yourself, even out loud, STOP IT! Because you are doing it to yourself, so you can stop doing it.

Try it! It worked for me!

The definition of forgiveness is when you finally realize that you are not going to have a different past.

Holiday mantra: All is forgiven. Everyone is forgiven. Including oneself.

Oceans of love to you all.

Cynthia